Friday, September 21, 2018

Don't Talk About It

Approximately 117 people die by suicide every day. This week two of those people were part of my community.

How selfish! What a disgrace. Why didn't they ask for help? There is no excuse. There's always another option.

Are you kidding me?

Until you have been in such a deep dark hole of depression, you have no idea how that person is feeling at the moment they begin a suicide attempt. Your brain takes over every part of your being and confuses your heart.

It screams...
You are hopeless
and pointless
and a waste of space on the earth,
a detriment to your family,
a horrible friend,
a terrible parent,
a sad excuse for a sibling.

You feel as though you have no worth what so ever. The idea of death, no longer existing on this earth, is preferable to the way that you are feeling at those moments. I've been there. Many many times. For some reason, I'm still here, and in a way after every single attempt, that made me feel like more of a failure. Suicide is not something that should be hidden, or pushed in a corner, or hidden under a rug.

This week suicide WAS an option for two people in my community. The choice to end their suffering was death.

Instead of talking about it, what are you going to DO about it?

Tomorrow morning the boys and I are participating in the Flagstaff Out of the Darkness Community Walk.

If you are in crisis, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741.