Sunday, January 14, 2018

Big News from CoCo

I have been drinking water!  Only one soda pop yesterday and on Friday. Two each on Wednesday and Thursday. None so far today. These healthier habits are quickly taking hold. I didn't want to jinx it and say anything but I am really proud of myself. 


My snacks have been cucumbers and clementines (and some ice cream.) I even passed up the Double Stuf Oreo cookies. It is so odd but I don't even want them. I did buy some Halo Top ice cream after so many friends raved about it as a treat. 

I am using a couple different programs to help kick start these new habits. The Plexus Pink drink has helped my energy levels and curb cravings. I start and end my day with water. Weight Watchers Freestyle tracks what I eat. I actually type the foods into the app before I eat them to check the number of points. I can still splurge but it reminds me to not indulge too much. Tomorrow I start doing healthy smoothies. I ordered some Vegan Tropical Strawberry Shakeology to give me extra nutrients every day. Their portion control containers give me a visual of normal food servings. 

It has taken a long time but I am seriously ready to put my self first. I got a new bike for Christmas, and bought myself good athletic shoes for workouts and exercises. I even went to the gym. I want to play with the boys, ride our bikes, and go for a hike.  I hope I can continue these healthy habits. However, these are not resolutions. These are conscious decisions to take care of my health and well being. 

My 41st birthday is coming up and I am determined to make this a great year. I am claiming my word of the year as #CONFIDENCE again. 

What are you doing to take care of yourself?

Sunday, January 7, 2018

Nope. Anxiety

Anxiety won last night.


Plans were set for a Saturday night weeks in advance. I procrastinated to find a sitter hoping to use it as an excuse to cancel. With a small boost of courage and confidence, I found someone to watch the boys. I had two days. Two days to finish my to-do list. Two days to wash dishes, take out the trash, straighten up the boys' room, and clear the middle room. 




I know, I know. I hadn't been able to do all this work in the last two weeks over the school break. Hell, not even the last two months it had been on the To-Do List. There was no way I was going to accomplish it in two days. I had set myself up for failure. 

Was it a sub-conscious attempt to bow out of an event? Maybe. I am never sure. (Which only leads to more anxiety trying to figure it out!)

The biggest issue was the embarrassment of a babysitter seeing my house. I was afraid I would be judged. That someone would laugh about the horrible mom that let her children live in such a house. (To be honest, it is bad, but not close to an episode about hoarding. I don't want any readers to worry.)

I can't believe I am being this honest. I like to be an open book with my mental health issues, but this is a lot.

Be kind.