Monday, May 23, 2016

School Lock Downs

This is the last week of school for the boys. What should have been a couple days of fun started out with a school lock down. I was in the cafeteria with the boys as they were getting their breakfast.

It causes me a lot of anxiety that the boys have had to learn what to do if there is a "bad guy" around their school. I mean, I am glad that they know how to follow procedures and stay safe in case there ever is a threat. I just don't like that it seems so normal.

Today's threat was legitimate. There was a man walking through the university campus, through traffic and a neighborhood firing a gun. He tried to carjack a driver on one of our main streets. A cop was shot during the incident that ended in the shooter's death.

Sadly this was not the first lock down at their school this year. Threats made by an automated computer voice were sent multiple times in the fall. There were schools targeted across the country and in the UK. This is both sad and scary to me. My children should not have to deal with this in Kindergarten!

When I was little I remember hiding under my desk for a tornado drill. I remember filing out the doors for fire drills. We didn't have to even considered threats that seem so common in 2016.

I am proud of our local police department for handling the incident quickly. I can not imagine what it must have been like to be in that intersection as cops were drawing weapons and chasing down a suspect. I really don't want to imagine it at all.

I left the boys at school after the all clear. I wasn't nervous or anxious about them being at school. I trust my boys' school and their teachers. I know they love my boys and would do anything to protect them like they would their own families.

I headed home with plans to do laundry and pick up the house. Instead I sat on the couch watching tv. I didn't realize how anxious I was until my heart was racing and I couldn't breathe. A panic attack crept up and knocked me on my ass. I can't remember the last time I had a full blown panic attack. Anxiety isn't a big deal, I can handle that, it's easy to talk myself out of that. However this afternoon was tough!

I picked up the boys at the regular time and we came home to play video games and chill out. Tomorrow is another day and they are excited for their Kindergarten Water Day. Silly games and lots of fun to celebrate the end of the school year.

They weren't bothered by the lock down. I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing.