Sharing the Struggles and Joy of Single Parenting while Crazy
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| Personalized for $20 6x6 ornament |
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| 12X14 $25 |
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| 16X12 $25 |
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I know I am lucky that I get child support at all. I just wished there weren't random issues with DCSE.
Department of Child Support Enforcement
more like
Department of Child Support eh, we will get to it Eventually
The Ex is paid biweekly. The payment from his 11/6 paycheck on hold. Why?? No reason! The caseworker says he has to contact the debt department. Then that department reviews it. If they feel it should be released (again no reason it should not be,) then it gets sent to another department. That department will then release it. Then it will post to my account. The day after that it will be deposited to my account!!!!
It could be next Thursday before I see it.
I have $6 to my name!
I have bills extended to TODAY that will not get paid! The cable/internet will be shut off. Necessary evils for a single mom blogger. It brings in cash and keeps the boys entertained. I do not feel guilty for this expense at all! (I hope people keep mean comments to themselves.)
My car has less than a quarter tank of gas. Even with lower gas prices ($2.19 yesterday) I can't afford to fill the tank.
Somebody either needs to buy something from CoCo Pretties www.facebook.com/cocopretties or a fairy needs to magically appear with hundred dollar bills.
Again, I know I am lucky. I know we are blessed. I know plenty of single mothers that do not get a dime. I mean no disrespect.
I just wish we didn't have these cycles of being EXTRA poor. Our regular level of poor is enough stress. I have gotten to a point where we can manage poor. Weeks without money in not doable. The next payment will be held up because of the Thanksgiving holiday - which means we are financially screwed for the month.
Ugh! Venting and Ranting over.
for now
Does anyone else hate doing the dishes? That has to be the chore I hate the most! Have you ever opened the drawer to get a fork and realize all of them were dirty in the sink?
If I had a personal assistant, that would be one of the first things on the TO DO LIST!
What would you put on the list?
To show and share some honesty, here is a picture of my kitchen.
Having a sick little one is always hard. It is really hard when there is no one else to help. I was woken up before 5am. Sam was not feeling well. Poor little guy felt horrible. Turns out it is just a cold, strep test came back negative. He is just miserable today. We had to go out in the rainy sleet/snow that we had this afternoon. Hopefully staying home today and a school holiday tomorrow will be enough time to rest.
As I get ready for bed tonight, I was thinking about our schedule. Do you plan ahead for the morning? I try to make sure that the boys have clothes ready to wear to school. I look at the weather to see if they need the heavier coat. Sometimes I even check the school lunch menu and ask the boys for their choice. I cover them up and pull the door closed.
I double check the lock on the front door. Turn off all the lights. Grab myself something to drink (soda or water) and head to my room. I tuck the boys in again. Double check that the alarm clock is set for the morning. 6:45, 7:00, 7:15, 8:05. I yell/whisper/threaten for them to shut up. I go back to my room and take my pills. (I'm crazy, remember?) I usually check social media and then read on my kindle or watch netflix. Once I am sure the boys have fallen asleep, I cover them up again. Then it is time for me to sleep. OK, I check social media one more time. Triple check the alarms (4 each morning) and turn off the light.
Even though I take a sleeping pill, it can take me hours to fall asleep. If I can tell that I am going to toss and turn for a while, I give up. I grab the Kindle and watch a TV show or play a game. It helps slow down and distract my brain. I recently got one of those trendy adult coloring books. I let my OCD take over and color paisley mandalas.
At some point, usually between 2 and 4 am, I finally fall asleep. If you were paying attention you would remember that the first alarm goes off at 6:45 am. That usually gets snoozed. Twice! Once I am semi concious I grab that smartphone and check my social media. I finally get out of bed when I really have to pee. I don't try to be quiet and I turn on all the lights.
The boys pull the blankets over their heads. If I don't procrastinate too much I can go in their room, sit on the bed, and talk to them about the day ahead. More often than not I am telling them to "GET OUT OF BED AND GET DRESSED!"
The last alarm goes off and they know that means to grab backpacks and head to the door. I didn't forget breakfast, we just usually are in too much of a rush. I either microwave something or hand them a pop tart. The school is about 4 moles from home. It would be a much quicker drive if we didn't have to pass two highschools to get there :) If I had enough sleep and I was able to make myself presentable; I go to class with them to volunteer.
This is a pretty good representation of what goes on every night. Of course there is the late night for a CoCo Pretties order or a sponsored post due the next morning. I usually don't mind though because it brings mich needed income.
What is your routine? Anything you wish you could change? Comment here.
I will read it tomorrow or at 3 am if I can't sleep.
Like I said before, I have always wanted to be a teacher. From playing pretend to helping out younger students, being a teacher's helper running copies and grading assignments. Working in daycare and singing and playing with babies. This is all I have ever done in my life.
Five years ago, just after we had moved in our new place, I was working as a substitute teacher. It was for Head Start here in town. I liked the job but I hated leaving the boys at daycare.
It ended up not working out for us since the boys got sick so often. It is hard to be a substitute teacher and call in sick. The job ended not too long after that. It all works out how it is supposed to because I was home with my babies for the winter. That is where I was needed so that is where I was.
As a child I learned that people fail you. I don't think the intention to hurt the child but it does; and I sadly dealt with more than a few times.
My parents separated when I was little. I was just under 5 if I remember correctly. I never knew specifics when I was little. Now I have too much information. I can not tell what is fact, lies or opinions.
After my mom remarried I hoped that this would be the whole family we deserved. Things didn't go so well for me. I was a constant pain the ass. I was always causing trouble, not serious, but trouble all the same. Things happened during some important years that I have come to terms with as an adult. There are and will continue to be repercussions for a long time coming. The hardest part was feeling betrayed. Feeling that I wasn't safe or protected.
I was financially taken care of, well taken care of. I had a car after I got my license. I had spending money. I worked a small part time job and I had my own income. Sadly the money wasn't as important as what I felt I was truly missing.
I still miss it. Sometimes I feel as though I have no family. I understand that dealing with mental illness is hard. I do it every day.
It has taken me a very long time to get to this point. I finally feel safe. I feel in control of my life. Life is not easy and I usually don't have enough money to make it through the month. I still miss what should be close relationships in my family.
I am not sure how this ends. The blog post or my feelings about my family life.
