This video was filmed in October 2011 over three visits from a friend and her video camera. Life seemed so hard at that point. Single mom of twin boys without a car, had to carry car seats with me for taxi cabs and rides from friends, endless trips to do laundry, bartering for rides to the store. I was very blessed and lucky that I found a great support in friends from my MOPS group.
As I re-watched that video tonight, it helped me to see that things are better. I mean I know they are better, we have a car to get around town; I am working part-time, I am blogging, I have a small side business where I can barter services, etc, etc. I just spoke to someone at church about all that has changed. How I truly felt happy and confident in ways I hadn't in years.
Then that night I could barely sleep. It took hours to fall asleep. A sleeping pill, an anxiety pill, lavender essential oil, a snack - nothing was working. Monday felt like torture. I missed my schedule. 4 days off of school in a row was too much. The stress of the prior month had obviously caught up to me.
Monday night also proved to be a sleepless and restless night. I did wake up and I tried my best at faking it. I put on a new dress that I had bought at the thrift store. It had been a little big so I washed and dried it. As I was leaving the house, I realized that the buttons were gaping. I hoped I had a safety pin in my desk drawer. UGH!
The boys fought in the car on the 6 minute drive to school. As soon as we walked into the building I had an overwhelming need to cry. Anxiety washed over me like waves on the beach. One parent noticed and just as I was about to admit I could use a hug she came back to try again. It was nice that I could ask this person to pray over me. She told me to just sit and cry because I obviously needed it.
Due to a mis-communication I wasn't needed to be at late work which was for the best. I left, grabbed some groceries and took a long nap after lunch. I needed it. The boys obviously needed the sleep as well, but then it just messes with the schedule even more. Dinner was late. Bedtime has been more than 2 hours of telling them to stop talking and stay in bed.
There really needs to be a mommy drop in center - one side is for the kids and the other side helps to recharge moms that need attention, love and caring from others that understand. Wine might be helpful as well. Or shopping. Or pedicures. Hmmm, maybe I need to plan something.
Thanks for letting me whine, I guess it is close enough to Whiny Wednesday that I could combine my new themes. Be on the lookout for:
Make You Think Monday
Terrible Tuesdays (tales of woe) (option #1)
Taco Tuesday (option #2)
Weird Wordless Wednesday (option #1)
Whiny Wednesday (option #2)
Freebie Friday (option #1)
Follow Up Friday (option #2)
Sum it up Saturday (recap of old posts)