Thursday, May 22, 2014

#SlideFire Anxiety

I shouldn't be so worried. I mean we live in the middle of town. Sunnyside is literally the middle of all the neighborhoods as far as I can tell. The #SlideFire is 13 miles out just outside Kachina Village. It would have to cross the highway and move all that way before they evacuated Flagstaff. Yet, I sit here and I rock back and forth. I cry because I would have no way to rescue my boys let alone any of our things. I am hurting so much today that I would barely be able to carry them. I might not be even be able to walk down the block. And if they are evacuating the town, then we have no where to go - because the highway will be closed too. Can't get to Phoenix either - not that we could walk there anyway.

While I am glad I have embraced my bipolar diagnosis, the runaway disaster thinking can be a real pain in the ass sometimes. It can take over my entire brain. I woke up with a little bit of a cold yesterday morning and now today, my whole body hurts. So is is a head cold, a flu, just allergies, the med change, anxiety, my imagination, depression, etc, etc. ???? Sometimes it is hard for me to even know what the truth really is.

I know in my heart that we will be safe. My brain knows this too - it just likes to get it all confused sometimes.

If you want to hear more about my Bipolar Diagnosis then watch for #myahamoment that will be shown online soon. http://youtu.be/wocTD6WnW9o  Thanks.