Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Islands of Stuff

I wanted to thank those of you that have had me and the boys in your thoughts and prayers the last few days. I was really overwhelmed with migraines and toddler antics. It will probably take a couple weeks but I have a goal of Labor Day (ish) to have a schedule in place for us with ME time to de-stress. I saw my counselor and he agreed that having small goals is a good idea. He said it was like having islands to hop to with things that I could look forward to. I really liked that analogy so I made you a picture : 

Yes, I am a dork and I am proud of it. Things have been pretty overwhelming for me this summer. My neighborhood has had a ton of construction which has kept the streets a mess and rerouted the bus stops. It has kept us from being self sufficient because the closest bus stop is just under a mile from home. (We will be getting new sidewalks but the work seems to be taking too long.) So the first thing is a weekend to myself while the boys visit their grandparents in PHX. I have plans of seeing a movie and going out to eat at a place that doesn't serve pizza. Our work in progress will be a new schedule (spreadsheet is being worked on) for our days. Meal times and bedtimes need to be more consistent as well as time for me. Which brings me to the next ISLAND - MOPS and a MNO. My MOPS group starts back up the first Thursday in September. I absolutely love MOPS. If you haven't heard of it before, it stands for Mothers of Pre Schoolers. Any mom that is pregnant and/or has kids up to Kindergarten is encouraged to join. Check out their website : http://www.mops.org/  or facebook page : https://www.facebook.com/MOPS.Int    They even have a way to search for a group in your area.  And just to note - I am not receiving anything by linking to their pages - I just really love the organization. That Friday night I have a MNO (Mom's Night Out) planned with some of my friends. There is a lot going on in downtown Flagstaff that weekend so I thought it would be a good opportunity for us moms to get out of the house. The following week there is a bible study starting at two different churches. I need to find out what each is doing so I can decide which one to attend.

During the rest of September and October I am going to have so much fun working on Halloween costumes for all of us. I am making costumes for me and the Twins' dad and making parts of the costumes for the twins. If you follow me on Pinterest then you already have an idea of what those costumes will be :)  I am also hoping to make Christmas presents for friends and family again this year. I have tons of ideas and I have already started on some stuff. 

The last ISLAND that I am looking forward to is a TRIP TO DISNEYLAND !!! I am so excited that I will get to take the Twins to meet Mickey Mouse. I used to go all the time with my oldest son and I can't wait to share the magic that is Disney with my toddlers. They love Disney channel, movies and music so I am hoping they will Disneyland as much as I do. We are actually taking the trip with their dad, my ex-husband, which I think will be a great memory for the boys. I have a spreadsheet set up for that as well :) We are getting to do character meals every day thanks to a friend that gave us dining vouchers for free, plus their dad paid for tickets to go to Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party. Even adults can wear costumes to the event and it includes free parking and trick or treating in the park. Plus there are special fireworks and a parade that only party goers can see !!! This brings out the Disney Dork in me so expect lots and lots of pictures in November. I even have a Pinterest Board for that too.

Well, my dishwasher is calling my name and I think the trash needs to be taken down the stairs. So thanks for reading and following me through the last couple stressful weeks.

Yea ! You made it to the end of Mom's rambling...

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Perseid Meteor Shower - Aug 12, 12 at 1am

I have always loved astronomy. I took a class in college mainly because it was easier than chemistry but I really started to appreciate what I was learning. When I heard there was going to be a meteor shower tonight, I wanted to get a peek. The kids were both finally passed out so I escaped outside to watch the skies for a little bit. It was about 1 in the morning. I threw on some jeans to keep warm but didn't add another layer to my tank top - dummy - it is 56 degrees out there.

There was some distant flashes of lighting off to my left,
There were clouds blocking part of my view,
There were stars blanketing the sky above me,
The clouds started to clear and I could see the moon and the planet Jupiter.

I finally started seeing some of the meteors with their star trails (or tails?) and I got really excited.
I tried to take some pictures but I have a simple point and shoot digital camera - so they are not worth sharing. I did find some online though through google images.

This is one of my favorites that I found online.
By Logan Brumm Photography and Design

August 13th, 2010 Perseid Meteor Shower - Flagstaff, Arizona By Logan Brumm Photography and Design

My eyes have been playing tricks on me lately (I think it is the constant headaches and migraines) but when I thought I saw a dark shadow and a white stripe, I didn't want to take any chances. I stood still for a moment but it looked like it was going to come closer so I started walking as fast as I could in the opposite direction of my stairs. This meant I was going down a hill covered in grasses, rocks, and the bumpy "road" made by trucks going to the back of our building. I almost fell a few times. I know how much the stink bothers me and my headaches inside the house so I didn't want to have a new perfume given to me :)

I stood in the parking lot for a little bit but the light from the buildings was making it hard to see. The clouds were starting to move again and the pine trees were directly in my line of sight for the moon.

I guess I can take a peek later this morning or late tonight again.

I hope you got a chance to see how beautiful the sky was tonight.

ETA: Oops I forgot to give you one more link that had good info for me on where to look in the sky and what to watch for... http://earthsky.org/astronomy-essentials/visible-planets-tonight-mars-jupiter-venus-saturn-mercury

Well, my pictures weren't very good but I will leave you with this picture of "stars",

possibly "stars" of a future boy band ? They can sing like their mama so they have a chance !

ETA AGAIN - I just got this link in my twitter feed :

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Not Able to Pretend Today

Today was horrible and it isn't over yet. Once my boys are asleep and I can have some quiet - I will consider it done. Thursdays during the summer should be fun. My mom's group meets for play dates at a different location each week. Last night a friend texted that she would pick us up so we could go today. I packed some snacks and had my new Target clearance picnic blanket ready to go. We were headed to the Duck Pond. It is a huge pond with a sidewalk around it for walking/riding bikes. The kids feed the ducks and run around in the grass. However, my kids were throwing rocks into the water, getting their shoes wet, falling in the sludge (mud and duck poop), and refusing to eat or listen. I was so overwhelmed that I couldn't do anything but yell at them. I couldn't handle chasing them all over and getting up to drag them back to the blanket.

My true self showed through today and I didn't like it.

I should have known better than to bring them today but I needed to get out of the house. My depression and anxiety have been ramping up and I thought, I hoped that getting out would help. Instead I felt like more of a failure and I acted that way in front of 8 of my mom friends. What an embarrassment !

I know that I am feeling worse about things with the twins' 2 yr old-ness because of my failures with my oldest son. He is 17 and wants nothing to do with me anymore. We started to have problems when I was pregnant with the twins and it grew and grew until he moved out of the house. When I left my husband and moved to Northern AZ, he was staying with a family from church. Then he was with his aunt/cousin. When school ended this year he bounced around with some friends and then moved in with his girlfriend. Then his girlfriend moved to Cali and he went with her. Talk about winning the award for Mother of the Year. I can't even keep my kid in the same state ! While all this was happening, he contacted his father. His father hasn't been in the picture since 1998. We did see him once at Christmas time in 2008 but it was only a ploy for me to drop the child support order. Now he wants to go live with his dad in Chicago. After debating it for a week, I signed a notarized statement allowing his dad to take custody. There is nothing I can do to change how he feels about me or what has happened in the last couple years. I can't force a 6 foot tall 17 year old boy to move up here and listen to me. So I did what he wanted and signed the paper. I feel like I failed him. I did fail him. I just hope this is what he truly wants and it works out for him. All I want is for him to finish high school, not become a parent at 18, and join the military or go to college.

It is going to take some time for me to get over this. Until then I could use some prayers and support. I need to stop looking at everything in such a negative way. I need to stop pretending that everything is okay. I need to let my true self show without feeling guilty. I need a break. I have a friend coming to see me this weekend and I have already set up a babysitter for Saturday afternoon and evening. Then later this month the boys will spend the weekend with their grandparents. Once September comes, my mom's group will start meetings and I hope to join a bible study. In October, the Twins are getting a trip to Disneyland with me and their dad.  I love Disney and I already have a countdown going - 73 days to go !

Thanks for listening reading.

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Boogie Wipes - Have you heard of them ?

I hadn't heard of Boogie Wipes before the twins were born but we started using them when they were babies. I love these wipes. They are saline and so much better than tissues or baby wipes for little noses. I even use them :) They smell great too. I am now a Saline Ambassador and I have been given the task of telling friends, moms, acquaintances and even strangers about Boogie Wipes. You can even like them on Facebook. If you live by me and want a sample, send me a text or find me out and about in Flagstaff. If you aren't too far away, I can try and get some out in the mail to you. There is one small catch though... Once you get the cool samples, freebies and coupons; I need you to complete a quick survey so the company can get some feedback. I don't want to post the link here but I will include it in your sample pack. There is a prize pack awarded to one lucky family that completes the survey - so make sure to fill it out right away. For my blog followers, you might get some of these cool products soon. For my local friends, there will be a prize offered at one of our MOPS meeting or play dates. Stay tuned... 

These are the goodies I got in my big green box.
I will be putting together a prize pack soon so keep watching the blog.

And I almost forgot... there is a twitter party on August 9th.Check out this blog post for more information : http://theiqmom.wordpress.com/2012/07/31/boogiewipes_mompact/

You can follow me on Twitter as well : C_Ludwig

#Mompact Twitter Party

WHEN:  August 9 at 9pm ET.
HOSTS: @Mompact and @BoogieMom
Assistant Moderators@TheIQMom@SunandSipCups@HorridHousewife
TweetGrid (to help you “watch” the action): http://bit.ly/MompactPartyGrid
PRIZES:  10 lucky moms who participate in the Twitter party will receive prize packages from BoogieWipes and Kandoo.  Simply RSVP before the party here .  If you’ve never tried BoogieWipes, you can also request a sample by completing the RSVP form prior to August 2nd.