Thursday, July 21, 2011

in a slump

So I have been dealing with some depression lately. More of a down in the dumps but functioning type of depression. I can't really complain though... I used to suffer with depression really bad years ago. Mainly I have been agitated, frustrated and annoyed. The little things drive me nuts. The twins are hyper little monkeys and I am not sleeping well - so that all adds up to a stressed out MaMa !!!

My oldest son, Christian (16 - lives in Phoenix) came to visit for a week. I love the kid to death but he actually added more stress than decreasing it... The twins are hard to handle as it is. Even their father admitted to this after he had them for 6 nights in June. Although he swore he would never repeat it ! Having a teen in the house that wanted late nights, movies, redbull and attention was a little more than I could take. I hate to say that I think he is better off living without me. He couldn't handle living with toddlers full time and there is not enough of me to go around for three boys. Especially boys that have such a difference in needs.

As for the twins - they hit 18 MONTHS on Monday. I really can't believe it. The time has flown by ! It has been almost a year since I left their father. We moved to Flagstaff on July 30, 2010. The boys have grown up so much, they look so different from a year ago. Sammy is defiantly the Big Brother of the two. He does all the talking, steals his brother food, and makes sure I refill the cups with juice/milk. He has a couple of simple two word sentences : "What's that?"  "Where's brudder ?" "Yea Jason" "Hi Jacob" (our neighbor) "See ya"... Jason is still babbling a lot. He had a hearing test at the hospital's Audiology department this week. They said he can hear speaking tones just fine but is missing some low tones and noises. So, he might need speech therapy. There is nothing wrong with his ears that is keeping him from talking. He either likes using his own language or he is happy to let Sammy talk for him. The new screeching though is something I hope we get past quickly. Both boys can do the baby signs for "more", "all done", and "milk". They wave HI and BYE and play peek-a-boo (either with a blanket or their hands. I have even heard Sammy say "I found you" and "Here I am". Although I might be the only one that can understand those last two sentences :) They are eating much better and they can tolerate some gluten - it is a fine line though - too much and they get upset tummies. I try to do gluten free at home for the most part and then not worry if we go out with friends/church/play dates. They love going on the slide at the park or the mall play place. They have moved to Toddler Beds and they like sleeping together. So I pushed the beds side by side and added rails to the two outside edges. They tend to end up on one pillow together at some point during the night.

If it weren't for them, I wouldn't be able to get through the day. I feel bad sometimes because I know that my depression hit me so hard when Christian was little. I can function much better as a Single Mom to twins for some reason than I could with just one baby all those years ago... Hell, I even babysit two, three or five kids at a time some nights without issue.
The 4th of July weekend had me babysitting 5 little girls. That was two sets of twins under 2, then a 5 yr old, 6yr old and 7yr old girl. I fed them all dinner, and then had them all in bed asleep by 10 pm. The parents came back after a night of fun and were amazed that I had 7 kids asleep and I was sitting there eating BBQ leftovers and watching a movie !

Well, I didn't really have a plan tonight - I just needed to ramble on.  

Check out some of the new video I uploaded to our YouTube channel :

At Summer Movie Fun - Every Friday (during Brother's Visit)

A picture with their Daddy before he took them for the weekend.

Asleep in the stroller after Storytime. Look at their matching knees :)
They fall asleep together almost every night.

They used other toys to climb up on their desks ! UGH !!