Thursday, February 3, 2011

My Birthday - a refelction of the past year - sort of...

I was talking to a friend earlier today about how I wouldn't be getting anything on my flowers, balloons, presents, or even a cake (unless I baked it myself). I did get a few things this past weekend when I was with family and I can't wait to go shopping with my gift cards. I will get to spend the day with my Twins, but since they don't really understand - it is the same as any Thursday for them...

Then my neighbor came over with a Princess Belle cake for me. I almost cried I was so touched by her kindness. She also knows me pretty well. She said there was a Cinderella cake, but that blue was Sammy's color. There was Princess Aurora, but that I wasn't sleepy enough for that one, so she settled on Belle. Belle's dress is yellow and yellow roses symbolize friendship - plus Belle and I have things in common (reading/books). I was so excited. It is a small cake, so it is just for me !!!

I really appreciate the new friends I have. I love the community I live in. I love the Moms I have met online in the last year, and even if I never meet them, I know they will be on facebook to support me when I need it.

A year ago, I was laying on a couch/bed in the NICU. I was up at 2 and 5 and 8 to feed my babies. I stayed at the hospital the night before my birthday because it was important to me to wake up with them on my birthday. I made that decision for myself and I am glad I stuck to it. Things in life rarely turn out exactly the way we expect them to, and my life has taken a very different turn !!! I don't think that is a complaint though...

If I hadn't moved at the end of the summer, then I wouldn't have discovered my strengths. I wouldn't have realized that I am a good mom. I would have continued to believe everything that people were filling me head with... I don't wish this life on anyone - but I am glad of what I went through because it has brought me to where I am. 

I now live in a community of single moms that understand what I have gone through. We might not always get along, but we can understand one another and for the most part, we support each other. The resources that are being offered to me will pave the way to making my family happy and healthy. We will get our footing back again - it just might take a while. But that's okay, because these people/supports/resources are here to help me.

If you have met me in the past 6 months and you are reading this... I thank you. I thank you for being a friend (whether IRL or online). I thank you for listening. I thank you for caring.

I am resilient !
I am resourceful !
I am beautiful !
I am intelligent !
I am 34 years old today !
I am a MOM !
I am Courtney... It's nice to meet you !